HUNGER and the Tunnel of Love

Lets start with the updates. Well, oh heck I really have no news..I did the MRI/MRCP yesterday..Now, will tell you that I scheduled this procedure while under the influence of drugs(nothing illegal). I may have been a little loopy(no, not my regular loopy, but really loopy) when I agreed to do a test at noon, which required me to fast for 8 hours before..For those of you who really know me, you know I don't like to miss a meal. Admittedly, I have been known to growl at my children when they have tried to try my food. Do you get the idea here? So anywho, I of course woke at 5:00 in the morning, missing my window of opportunity to eat or drink anything that morning. So as any good mother would do, I threw some frozen mini waffles in the toaster oven and fed my little darlings their breakfast. I did drool a few times, but did resist stealing even a lick..Oh yay, it was only 7:30 by this time. Oh my Lord, would noon ever arrive..I spent the morning doing laundry, vacuuming, dusting, ironing, sewing on buttons and darning my husbands socks..HAHAHA, NOT!!!! Really, I sat on the couch and whined on the phone like a big baby about not eating or drinking. I was obsessed..Eventually, I did shower and yes, I may have licked my face a few times for a few drops of water.
The last straw came when, Phoebe and Jay started snacking. I lied to them and said I needed to be at the hospital early. I grabbed my newest book: Are you there, Vodka? It's me Chelsea(thanks Lisa) and left the house. I drove to the parking lot at the hospital and waited for 2 hours for my appt time. With my stomach now begging for food, I went to Registration and waited for my name to be called so I could hand over the rest of my money since they hadn't sucked me dry on Friday. While I was sitting there, patiently, a woman and her clearly ignorant husband sat next to me. No problem, UNTIL, her SWEET hubby walked away and returned with some breakfast sweet rolls. SERIOUSLY, I thought, do not eat those near me. I fear he sensed the glaring daggers in my eyes and ate his big, sweet, succulent, warm, sugar coated roll somewhere else. Wise move on his part.

Oh ya, the MRI was a not a big deal. I laid down quietly as Deede started the IV and strapped me down and eased me into the tunnel of doom. I did listen to the hits on the radio, which was completely drowned out by the jack hammer blaring in my ear. No problem though, UNTIL, Hmmm. That cool, metalic taste his my throat. I'm not going to be sick in here..Uh oh, I think I am..I quickly squeezed my button and begged for help. Deede, rushed in with a nice little blue "barf" bag and saved the day. I certainly didn't want to have to be in charge of cleaning that machine. God bless, Deede for bringing me a cool cloth and shoving me back into the machine so that she could finish getting some pretty pictures of my liver. Being a photographer, I understood the importance of just finishing  a photo session. 10 minutes later and I was out of there...Aaaaah. You know what that meant??FOOD and a much needed Diet Coke.

I ran to my car,knocking over the elderly, tripping small children and drove like a crazy woman to Wendy's. Did i have money, no, but I remembered a Visa rewards card that I got for filling out my health assessment for the insurance company a month before. I whipped into drive thru and ordered a Diet Coke and A Chicken Pecan Salad...I had 30cents to spare. I'm not lying when I say, I thought I heard Angels when I took that first bite. Oh, you probably think I drove home 30 minutes before I ate. Not a chance, I pulled into a spot in front of Sherwin Williams and shoved that salad into my mouth as fast as I could shovel it. Not a pretty picture, but I just didn't care.I was now, Free and Happy.

Come to Momma, my sweet food.........

No time to even remove the bracelets..

The lesson of this day, never schedule your own appts while under the influence of mind altering meds, never schedule a fasting appt after 9:00 in the morning and NEVER, EVER eat food in front of people wearing a hospital bracelet while sitting at registration. That's my story..

Hello, Sunday

Sunday, the day full of so much: a day of rest, a day dedicated to family, a day dedicated to God, a day to renew our bodies, a day before school starts.(Sorry, I couldn't resist that last one). I sit here on the couch, the house is quiet. The dog and I are just hanging out together and I have been reflecting on this past week.

 A week ago I was full of fear and and shock, Today, I am at peace..That is the peace that comes with God's grace and the knowledge..A dear friend of mine, suggested I call the Livestrong Foundation and talk to them. I did, those people set me up with a sweet, compassionate lady named, Sharon. An P.A. with extensive knowledge in the different types of Pancreatic cancers. She helped me to understand that there are more than one type of cancer, and IF I have this certain type, it is not a death sentence. She helped to calm my fears and gave me hope and power..The saying," There is Power in Knowledge"is so true. Thank you, Sue and Sharon for those words. Needless to say, I am now a Livestrong supporter, and I am grateful..

This past week, I also learned that I have an incredible support team of friends and family that helped to lift me up these past days. Having one of my sisters drop everything and fly up and be with me was so touching. Kelly went with me to my appts and held my hand, asked the questions I forgot to ask, fed my kids, washed my dog, did my laundry, and even drank some of the nasty prep med for me. YUCK, now that my friends, is dedication. The calls, the letters and the messages from everyone has been beyond humbling. THANK YOU, thank you..

Now, on to the news, After having a tube put down my throat and one up( well never mind, Ibet you get the idea there), my colon was free of any cancer which is great news, Although the Dr said it was the longest intestine he had ever seen in 30 years of work, Figures, I have itty, bitty, short legs and a super long intestine, is there no justice:)?  The blood work came back which said the liver looked just fine, more great news..This week is an MRI which will check out the innards( I like that word) to get a better picture of things. I'm hoping they will take a look and say,"Hey old lady, what are you doing here? There isn't a damn thing wrong with you. Now, get outta here before we call security"...Geesh, some people can get so huffy.


Well, for now that's all I got. Thanks for listening to me babble on..Hope you have a great Sunday. Remember one thing, :"bottoms up" doesn't always mean drink up. Eeeewwwwwwww.....

The Adventure Begins

Amazing how three words can change your life. I love you~makes you all giddy inside, You are Pregnant~A life changing joy, It's a Girl~ dreams of dresses, dancing and weddings fill the mind.Sometimes, three words can be so shocking it is mind boggling, My three words came Friday, You have cancer.

After the initial shock, tears and terror of those words comes more fear. Fear for yourself, NO. Fear for the pain, burden and shock that hits your husband, parents, children and friends. Seeing hurt in their eyes is more painful than any diagnosis the Dr can give. So more than ever, it is then that you pick yourself up and do everything in your power to make sure these incredible people in your life are never hurt again.

So, the adventure begins.....For a little while, I plan to use my blog as a little journal of this little bend in the road. I know God has a plan and I am up for the challenge.