Thursday, August 25, 2011

HUNGER and the Tunnel of Love

Lets start with the updates. Well, oh heck I really have no news..I did the MRI/MRCP yesterday..Now, will tell you that I scheduled this procedure while under the influence of drugs(nothing illegal). I may have been a little loopy(no, not my regular loopy, but really loopy) when I agreed to do a test at noon, which required me to fast for 8 hours before..For those of you who really know me, you know I don't like to miss a meal. Admittedly, I have been known to growl at my children when they have tried to try my food. Do you get the idea here? So anywho, I of course woke at 5:00 in the morning, missing my window of opportunity to eat or drink anything that morning. So as any good mother would do, I threw some frozen mini waffles in the toaster oven and fed my little darlings their breakfast. I did drool a few times, but did resist stealing even a lick..Oh yay, it was only 7:30 by this time. Oh my Lord, would noon ever arrive..I spent the morning doing laundry, vacuuming, dusting, ironing, sewing on buttons and darning my husbands socks..HAHAHA, NOT!!!! Really, I sat on the couch and whined on the phone like a big baby about not eating or drinking. I was obsessed..Eventually, I did shower and yes, I may have licked my face a few times for a few drops of water.
The last straw came when, Phoebe and Jay started snacking. I lied to them and said I needed to be at the hospital early. I grabbed my newest book: Are you there, Vodka? It's me Chelsea(thanks Lisa) and left the house. I drove to the parking lot at the hospital and waited for 2 hours for my appt time. With my stomach now begging for food, I went to Registration and waited for my name to be called so I could hand over the rest of my money since they hadn't sucked me dry on Friday. While I was sitting there, patiently, a woman and her clearly ignorant husband sat next to me. No problem, UNTIL, her SWEET hubby walked away and returned with some breakfast sweet rolls. SERIOUSLY, I thought, do not eat those near me. I fear he sensed the glaring daggers in my eyes and ate his big, sweet, succulent, warm, sugar coated roll somewhere else. Wise move on his part.

Oh ya, the MRI was a not a big deal. I laid down quietly as Deede started the IV and strapped me down and eased me into the tunnel of doom. I did listen to the hits on the radio, which was completely drowned out by the jack hammer blaring in my ear. No problem though, UNTIL, Hmmm. That cool, metalic taste his my throat. I'm not going to be sick in here..Uh oh, I think I am..I quickly squeezed my button and begged for help. Deede, rushed in with a nice little blue "barf" bag and saved the day. I certainly didn't want to have to be in charge of cleaning that machine. God bless, Deede for bringing me a cool cloth and shoving me back into the machine so that she could finish getting some pretty pictures of my liver. Being a photographer, I understood the importance of just finishing  a photo session. 10 minutes later and I was out of there...Aaaaah. You know what that meant??FOOD and a much needed Diet Coke.

I ran to my car,knocking over the elderly, tripping small children and drove like a crazy woman to Wendy's. Did i have money, no, but I remembered a Visa rewards card that I got for filling out my health assessment for the insurance company a month before. I whipped into drive thru and ordered a Diet Coke and A Chicken Pecan Salad...I had 30cents to spare. I'm not lying when I say, I thought I heard Angels when I took that first bite. Oh, you probably think I drove home 30 minutes before I ate. Not a chance, I pulled into a spot in front of Sherwin Williams and shoved that salad into my mouth as fast as I could shovel it. Not a pretty picture, but I just didn't care.I was now, Free and Happy.
Come to Momma, my sweet food.........

No time to even remove the bracelets..

The lesson of this day, never schedule your own appts while under the influence of mind altering meds, never schedule a fasting appt after 9:00 in the morning and NEVER, EVER eat food in front of people wearing a hospital bracelet while sitting at registration. That's my story..


  1. YOU Just Want Do...!!
    I Laughed... my self... to pieces.. at this

    I can see you.. in front... of that Serwin Williams
    wuffing down that Salad- and of course- our FAV! Drink!! a DIET COKE!
    as I am having one NOW!

    I love you Girl;-))
    Keep is Up dated!! Hope How Well you are So
    love you so much Cindy!~

  2. I'm looking forward to these updates! You are hysterical, my dear! And by the way, those are not age spots on your hands. You just need to get your camera mirror worries...happens to me all the time.

    How is the book? I'm reading Left Neglect by Lisa Genova! Have you read it?

    Sending love, hugs and my feeble prayers! ( "

  3. Oh my goodness - what a day. I can't believe after all that you ordered a Salad. I know that one is great (I do love it) but give me something fried and greasy please.

    I have such an image of you knocking down people in the parking lot.

    Sending love and hugs your way.

  4. you have such a way with words.......I always get frustrated with the parents of my pediatric patients....they eat in front of these children and literally make them cry. They should be shot! As always, thanks for the reminders and the funny and comical way that you share them with us!

  5. Kristen, you crack me up! Amazing once again! Thanks for the update and really, maybe you should think about writing books and photography? I think you could get published.

  6. Kris, you crack me up! LOL I too go nuts if I have no food. xo


About Me

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My name is Kris. I am a wife, a mom to six, a photographer, a reader, a Christian, a Diet Coke drinker, a closet ice cream eater, a walker and a memory keeper.. Thanks for coming by to say hi, I can't wait to get to know you :)